Is she double faced?

She’s tired and exhausted.

She’s pretending to be who everyone thinks she is. She does it involuntary. She doesn’t mean to lie to everyone in her life, but even the closest to her don’t know that she’s lying to them. Why can’t she break through the shell that she trapped herself into in the first place? Why can’t she be herself and show her true daily emotions without being terrified. I’m not saying that she doesn’t have a personality, she does, she shows her personality like it’s her job. But her day to day emotions are never raveled, they never get to see the surface of her soul. She doesn’t know how to  control her emotions except in one way… bottling them up until she can’t function anymore.

Advertisements

When she took the final decision.

She was lying on her bed really tired because of that migraine that hit her out of no where. Nothing made her think of the upcoming summer heat, and how mad she would probably get because she can’t handle any heat in her space. She thought about what she would probably wear during this period of time, only to realize she doesn’t like how she looks in tank tops and sleeveless shirts. She yells. No one hears. No one should hear. It was as loud as the sound of silence that falls on her when she’s deep into thinking about the future.

She decides.