She’s tired and exhausted.
She’s pretending to be who everyone thinks she is. She does it involuntary. She doesn’t mean to lie to everyone in her life, but even the closest to her don’t know that she’s lying to them. Why can’t she break through the shell that she trapped herself into in the first place? Why can’t she be herself and show her true daily emotions without being terrified. I’m not saying that she doesn’t have a personality, she does, she shows her personality like it’s her job. But her day to day emotions are never raveled, they never get to see the surface of her soul. She doesn’t know how to control her emotions except in one way… bottling them up until she can’t function anymore.